The Time-Traveling Gold Tooth

It was a regular Tuesday at Premier Estate Buyer Boca Raton—until a man in a pirate costume barged in, waving a velvet pouch like it was the Holy Grail.

"I need to sell this!" he gasped, slamming the pouch on the counter.

The appraiser at Boca Raton Gold Buyer sighed. "Sir, we don't buy props from theme parks."

The man narrowed his eyes. "This ain't no prop, mate. This here be Blackbeard’s time-traveling gold tooth!"

The Legend of the Tooth

The room fell silent. Even Karen, who had been aggressively negotiating the price of her ex-husband’s Rolex, turned to listen.

The pirate man (who introduced himself as Captain Jerry "Not an Imposter" Hawkins) explained the curse:

  • Anyone who owned the gold tooth could time-travel—but only to boring historical events (like the invention of mayonnaise).
  • The previous owner, an 18th-century sailor, accidentally teleported into a DMV in 1997 and never returned.
  • The tooth had been stolen, lost, pawned, and even used as a chess piece by Napoleon.

And now? It was ruining Jerry’s life.

"Last week, I put it under my pillow, woke up in 1427 at a medieval accounting seminar," Jerry groaned. "Do ye know how BORING medieval accounting is?!"

The Appraisal

The appraiser, now mildly intrigued, picked up the gold tooth with tweezers.

"Hmm. Solid 22-karat gold. Some unusual engravings—looks like old Latin…" He squinted. "Wait. This says, 'Property of the Boca Raton Country Club'?"

Jerry yanked it back. "Ignore that! The price, man! How much?"

After some calculations, the appraiser gave a very generous offer.

"DEAL!" Jerry cackled, tossing the gold tooth on the counter like a cursed relic. "It’s your problem now!"

The Aftermath

Jerry skipped out of the store, finally free of his time-traveling nightmare. But just as the appraiser locked the gold tooth in the safe, a strange vortex opened in the ceiling.

From the swirling light, a voice boomed:

"WHO TOOK MY TOOTH?!"

And just like that, history repeated itself...